I saw a pretty little room and three people there in the room with my blurred vision. As soon as it came clear, I realised the place where I am. The same place I had been going from my childhood onwards with dad and mom. The same man, Dr Louise Paul, is the psychologist who has the duty to cure dad of his illness of the mind. Yeah, I am in his hospital. The other two people with the doctor are mom and Alice. They all are involved in a detailed talk. I heard the doctor saying not to worry. He added now Oliver is okay. I can now remember what happened. Immense feelings made me crazy and also took the control of my all parts. My head began aching. I stood up from the bed, I was spending almost three an hour. Seeing my endeavour to stand up, mom and Alice came close to me and the doctor followed. Mom and Alice halted at a specific distance and only the doctor pursued his motion. He came closer and with his hands stretched my eyelids open tightly. Torched a beam of light and searched just like something has missed there. After his detective work, he said to them something in a murmuring sound. I didn't catch it. Mom and the doctor went out of the room and have gone somewhere. Alice is now alone in the room. She came closer and sat down on the chair nearby. Looking my eyes she asked :
"Are you okay now?"
My reply was not connected with that question anyway, I begged for forgiving me for how I behaved a few hours earlier. But that apology made her smile. A beautiful calm smile that has everything in it. After a few whiles of a beautiful smile, looking straight into my eyes she said the answer of the question that I have been wandering for days. She said what she was supposed to say to me that day, the day I had been appetited for.
Her words were soft and sweet but they hurt my heart by the end. As I was hoped and dreamed, she wanted to say me ready to be a wife. Wife of mine! She accepted my proposal and was very sad about her brother's attitude. He too was very worried about what he did that day. That was really a misunderstanding. Everything was to happen that day, but then I missed that night. No one knows where I've gone and what happened. Even many had doubted my existence itself. Days gone, no news! Months gone, helpless police! The name Oliver was fading from the time. One day after two years I again showed up. But fate was again against me! All the things had happened in that period of two years. All! All... She married a doctor, a psychiatrist. And even now she is about two months pregnant?
She completed her words offering me free treatment by her psychiatrist husband and moved out. Just like how my happiness and joys detached me.
What a cursed life is mine? I, the wretched man, got three main enemies now: The Hell opener, The fate and The time! Everyone is equally helping me. Helping me to have a dead life before dying. Why? Why! I yelled out in my mind so that It wouldn't disturb anyone else.
The police are just not questioning me now because of my mental illness. They are just lurking outside for me to recover. To present many couples of questions in front of this disappeared man. What I would say? No one in this world can believe me. Or even if I try, they would seal me the remark "mad". Hmm, it's better to be mad than holding all the sorrows. The wound in my mind will never heal. It will hurt me whenever I feel relaxed.
Mom came from somewhere and brought me to our home. She was been talking nothing with me. Full of silence! Maybe she is afraid of me being again that psycho. I don't know exactly anything but I am sure that I have no one to share my sorrows to get some relaxation. The relaxation from the incredibly tied up mystery.
She locked me inside a room and went somewhere away. I am now again alone in the darkness of a room though I have survived the darkness of the world. No one there, no sound, no light, I started finding peace in the middle of the sorrowful sea. But again something is disturbing me, something is destroying the silence. I heard it from the door. It's someone who is trying to open that door but definitely, it is not mom. Slowly my doors started producing the unbearable creaky sound. I saw a man, a little old and bald-headed with a little big belly. My dad!
The man who I cursed a lot, who I did hate, who I often pay no attention to, is now holding my head in his laps. Making me calm and motivating the most effective than any of the motivational speakers can. Actually his behaviour at first shocked me. That dad who I know is exactly not what now he is. He acts normal. A normal dad who I have been wishing for. Did mom and Spencer have cured his illness completely within these two years of time? But all the doctors we could able to show him was always in the same opinion that the complete recovery is hard. Then how did this happen? I don't lead myself to ask him what happened. Instead, I enjoyed his every gesture and voice. He is saying again and again "I am with you" which is, again and again, making me confident enough to live the life. I shared all the things that happened with me. He listened all carefully. I thought no one will believe my unbelievable words but, making my beliefs wrong, he did. He is trying to make me calm and detached from the mental stress and other related issues I have and enabling me to cope with the mental harasses. I am now feeling so much bad about myself used to curse him. Now, on experiencing a similar situation, I understood what really a broken mind wants.
He began saying a story. A story of a traveller who had a dream to reach the top of Everest to defeat the heights. But one day by an accident, both his legs have gone. He couldn't even able to do his routine work itself. That much the accident affected his physical atmosphere. But his mind was so strong that he could not be touched by the ailments that physically paralyzed him. He took true determination with him always which eventually made him reach his desire, Mount Everest, The peak of his dreams!
The last words he said made me capable to heal a major portion of my mental wounds. It aroused a new leap of faith in my mind. The faith on no one else but on myself.
"Kiddo, you are powerful. Don't let anything swallow you. Life would be full of dusty, stony paths but don't lay down! Face the challenges with your powerful mind and that will shield you from the unbearable sorrows and emotions. Find happiness!"
My dad is no longer crazy! My dad is normal as the other fathers are, or maybe far better than others. My eyes begin dropping the sorrow drops. Not complete sorrows but those drops reflected happiness as well. It's for the first time I am experiencing the paternal love, the love I have been wandering for!
I heard the sound of a car coming near. It was mom. She came inside in hurry and slowed down eventually when she saw the door she locked me being open. She peeped in slowly with anxiety and became normal seeing dad inside sitting with me. She asked dad how am I. He replied only the word fine. Actually, she was in hurry to say good news to dad. But that news again threw me into the depth of the mystery again.
Spencer got his first job? I really screwed up. What she is talking about? Spencer had got job years ago. I became obsessed with thoughts again. With more clues I gathered, I finally get to an assumption that this is not what the reality is. This is not my real world. I am again in a weird place! That's why dad is behaving normal and I had been disappearing for years. The realisation made me disparate and in the same way, relaxed too. Those things that seem to have happened are just an illusion. These have not happened. I didn't have lost two years or Alice or anyone.
I heard another sound of a car from outside. It's more than a man. They are coming near to the room. Before they just reached the entrance of the room, I found them to be the police. There were four of them who came and started questioning me. They asked me where I were the past two years but I didn't reply because I don't know anything rather, this is not a reality. My silence made one of the policemen look at me in a scary way. They showed me a photo, the photo of mine with a large packet of white powder in my hands. They continued questioning. The senior among them asked me whether I know when this photo had been shot. I frowned showing the uncertainty. But this time they increased their voice.
"You had been arrested by the police of Notollato city six hundred kilometres away the last week because of drug export, hadn't you?"
This sound echoed all around the room and I saw my parents being shocked by that. I again frowned widening my eyes more. But my gestures only made the police angrier and angrier. The senior hit his hand on the table for making a loud noise and expressing his anger. I was really scared. Don't know what to say and what to do. Anyway, they have gone saying me to submit myself at the police station tomorrow morning. Mom with a crying face went out in hurry without looking at my face. But dad was looking me straight in the eyes. I couldn't stay in that room no longer. I walked in hurry towards my room and jumped onto my bed to have a sleep for getting rid of all the predicaments I have for a while.
I opened my eyes after a long sleep. It's dark outside. Time is gonna ring nine o'clock and I can no longer sleep. So I stood up from the bed. My first attention has gone to a paper down there in the bedside in which there is written something. I held the paper up in my hands and started gazing at what was written. It was composed of only four words but became everything for me.
"I am with you!"
Dad should have placed this while I was sailing the depths of sleep. My eyes began wet. And simultaneously when the first drop fell from my eyes down on the floor, I heard the same voice. The voice I have been afraid of and also always waiting for. The hell opener's accompaniments! Soon the flash of light did come. And not so long he too, the hell opener in front of me!
"I am not gonna lose you again, you evil! "
I started walking towards the shadow and at a certain distance. I heard his voice for the first time. He is saying :
"I don't wanna hurt you, Oliver. I am here to help!"
Soon the white, intense light which often comes as the nightmare of mine started rushing into my eyes...
INDEX
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