The arrival of the sun imparted pleasure everywhere but not in my house. The darkness persisted to stay here with me. I realised that the sun is fake, is the one I have been watching for the previous two days, only after I heard mom shouting the same dialogues. It stood me up from my unconsciousness of sleep, from the dept of nightmares. Again hopelessness! I am again living on the same day, starving for the next day, the new year to come. I heard mom madding over the imaginary me. I can't hear it anymore. So I walked down to the hall and thereby to outside.
I am walking. Not to the office, not to the coffee shop where Alice requested to come; because I did not have to. Now in this world, I am the only one who can feel, hear and experience me. I am alone, I have to do nothing, I am free, no worry, no friends!
"Ahhhhhhh!"
I yelled but it only made me more hungry. Yesterday, I don't know when I got to bed. Maybe the hunger in the stomach and fire in my mind made me unconscious. What I know at last is eleven o'clock and then blank. But I still do not remember why I am not feeling thirsty. I haven't drank anything after since I ate something. This question triggered my mind. But I deviated. Now I know who is responsible for the weird things happening with me. That man, light, sound...
Sure, from him all the problems have started. All the things that happened on 31st December 2021 had happened yesterday too but he and the hell things that accompanied him only wasn't. These are the only and powerful pieces of evidence for him being the offence. But I am not powerful enough to stop that man, that demon! This is not science, these all are like magic in the fairy tales. I don't know he will come again or not. Maybe I have to live my entire life here on this day 31st January 2021 and die too. No one can help me!
"Ahhhhhhh!"
I shouted again and again for getting some relief but it made me act abnormal. I started walking among the crowd saying loudly bad words, shouting on the ears of a schoolgirl, yelling at the public, laughing at the police officers and so on. I felt myself being a psychopath. So I sat down where I were and started meditation for cooling my mind down. But I couldn't. How a man can do relax in such a situation. Don't know what happening and why. Just living helplessly and hopelessly. I can touch the people but can't move them. Their bodies are like stone, the statues made up of rocks that have the power of movement but like a programmed robot. Suddenly I felt a little dizzy which eventually tackled all my vital powers and soon I fell down on the floor. In the street!
In that sleep, I saw the next day. New year day! Friends, Spencer, Alice, mom everyone are with me chilling the day. I am happy. But suddenly the sun begins pouring darkness. Scary dark everywhere! I shouted out calling my friends and mom. But no one is there. Rather, the darkness blinded my eyes. Suddenly with a harsh sound, a door opens at one side. Light rushed through that Gap and I saw the shadow of that strange man there, laughing mockingly at me!
I stood up in shock. Panting heavily. I can hear my heart beating with a loud bang. It pumped my blood with fear all around my body. And within the second cycle, it mixed sadness too. Oh! It is gonna be dark. I was here sleeping for hours. The street is now not as crowded as it was. I kept walking to my home holding my head with one of my hands. The reddish-yellow light of the dying sun kissed on my cheeks. Trying to relax me but I felt it too another trap for me, the wretched man. The cat who dipped its tongue in hot milk will scare even on cold water itself. that's a universal truth.
I have gone to dad's room straight. He is there sitting on the bed murmuring something. Suddenly he increased his voice as I entered the room.
"I know you are here my sweet kiddo!"
I startled. A beam of hope more penetrating than the strange flash of that night struck my heart.
"Dad!"
I called him with heart pain.
"You rascal, the deer will catch the bear and I love drinking beer. Soon swap it and pour then stir."
The anger I thought was unexplainable. Dad with his meaningless words made me feel something more for a little while. I suppressed my feelings and began thinking different.
I can now understand what his situation is. I am feeling something mostly alike. Madness is, for the listeners' something unbearable but for those who are experiencing it, it's a wonderful cure. The cure to avoid the feelings and tension. With these words, I went out of his room but I noticed he coming behind. For an instance, I hope again that he is coming to see me but his path was to the front door. And as soon as he opened it, he started saying:
"Are you okay? Did Hitler hurt you son?
Hmm! This is the time I reached home that day. With a lot of hopes, a lot of joy. What all I did dream? Research, Alice, Newyear! All have gone in vain. All! Tears started borning from my eyes and slowly they flowed down my cheeks carrying a lot of feelings which not even I, no one can understand and measure.
It's seven o 'clock the lights in my room automatically turned on. This is the time when I came to my room and switched on the lights to start experimenting for finding out the validity of my findings. I lose all the money Spencer has sent me, buying the equipment and the chemicals that I need for researching. Anyway, I got the sweet result but couldn't able to taste it! If the things happening with me are science. Then I am proud that science has advanced very high. High than a man can imagine. Fully weird. But what if these all are miracles? I can't completely neglect it because all things happening to me are just like some sort of magic. I have no proof to say that transhuman abilities, evils and gods are fake concepts.
My thoughts brought me more and more pain. So I tried to think nothing. A blank mind! I lay on my bed. No, it's better to say hard plane rock than a bed. I endeavoured to sleep without any thoughts. Hours have gone by, I couldn't sleep nor get aloof of my thoughts. It's pinching me from all the sides. I looked at my clock. Now it's going to ring eleven o'clock, the time when I have seen that "hell opener".
I opened my eyes gently by the main alarm awaking me for the past days, the noise of mom. I lay back. It's morning. what happened to me? When did I sleep? My mind brought me the result of that question. After 11 o'clock I automatically lose my consciousness and awake in the morning.
Today started with a cry. I cried all long for an hour and then hunger caught me. Again after some while, I began to yell for help.
"Help, help, help, help..."
I don't know how much time did I say the word "help" but I am pretty sure that it's hard to count. Each "helps" followed by a little while of silence. The power of the first "help" was really 100 times more than the last one. I tried to lie on the bed all the time because I have nothing to do by going out. My routines themselves are not working. So what am I supposed to do? Seeing all the things again and again! A film can be seen many times but a day of our life can't. It will make us mentally unstable.
Till noon I pursued saying help. Now I am counting the numbers in mind. As it is infinite, I don't have to count a number again anyway. Repetition will not happen and something new will come and go. Wow! I found pleasure in counting for the first time. But how can a man, especially a man who was always busy with work, can spend a whole day in bed without doing anything? No, I can't be a bedridden shadow. Not anymore!
I got up from my storey bed and started running with all the energy I have. The dying sun again tried to calm me down with its reddish light. But this time I need him. I ran until I got to a place where there is no one there. The calmest place where I can relax my mind. I chose the beach. Spend my meaningless time with the dying sun, cursing the ruthless time.
My eyes again begin to drop salty drops. But my friend, the dying sun, coloured and glowed it to see me how precious it is. I felt love towards that small rounded red guy who always does the same thing. Die!
The hopeless, helpless and scattered mind only had one aim, die. Suicide!
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